Barbarella's Backstage Pass

For your random-voyeurism-of-my-personal-experiences pleasure, I offer you the following tidbits and peeks into some recent Barbarella interactions:

The 4 Points of Diva-dom (or, four necessary steps to being a Diva) as Cited by Gino:

1. Learn to accept compliments – say, “Thank you.” And leave it. No explanations, no stories, no arguments. My, you look lovely today. THANK YOU. Moving right along,

2. Accept gifts with grace – same basic principles as above. No, “you shouldn’t have,” no worrying about what you need to give, just accept what’s been given to you; and accept it graciously.

3. Do NOT care what ANYONE has to say about you. Positive or negative. If you know there was talk, you are NOT curious about the subject. You do NOT care. It does NOT affect who you are, or the Diva you will be.

4. Never, EVER, point out your self-perceived flaws. No, “I wish this mole wasn’t here,” no, “I hate my thighs,” NOTHING negative about yourself. You are a Diva, and Divas don’t have “flaws.” All you do is call attention to your insecurity, thereby giving others no choice but to see you as a pathetic girl, with possible potential once said-flaw is eliminated. Divas do NOT wait for perceived flaws to magically "disappear" before allowing themselves to be Diva's. They just ARE.

After citing the Points, Gino properly dropped to the ground and genuflected, announced that he was “worshipping me properly,” and then got up, gave me a hug and flittered back to the dance floor. Good times, good times. Hee hee. Like I wasn’t going to put THAT in.

Dental Prep – 8 January 2003

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” – Lao-Tzu

I made an appointment with the Dentist for Friday. You don’t want to know how long it’s been since my teeth have seen a doctor. I can’t remember the last time I was this nervous for anything! I told them on the phone, though, I told them that lecturing me is not an option. “I’m already turning myself in, I know I don’t take care of my teeth, so don’t rub my nose in it.” I indicated that I would walk out at the first sign of a lecture, and I mean it! He took it well, said, “Sure, we look forward to seeing you again!” I wonder if they realize I’m an adult now. I haven’t been to this office since the last time I got my fake front teeth fixed.

That would be the 6th or 7th time I had gotten my fake front teeth fixed. Then, a dentist in Beverly Hills a few years back for some SERIOUS DEEP cleanings, and I never went in to get those cavities filled. Shit. Cavities. ARGH! Wait a tick... Nitrous. I just have to focus on the nitrous and I’ll be FINE. I wonder if I should bring my own cracker & balloon, no, they have those masks, don't they...

Update and Mortality – 10 March 2003 & 25 March 2003

I needed these last few days like a nun needs a vibrator. Whew! I feel the exact polar opposite of how I felt on Friday, thank Fucking Christ (no, I’m not trying to tie that expletive back to the nun comment, but if the wimple fits…)

I rallied in a big way, and went to see Bunky at Scolari’s Office. After a few cocktails and some warm-up bands, I was relaxed and ready to boogie. Ollie, Ronaldo, and M.s. were a wonderful crew to kick it with, and we had MUCH entertainment outside of the music.

There was this rock-a-billy kid trying VERY hard, and getting phone numbers from giggling girls with short black bangs. A LOT of numbers, for someone who Ron quickly dubbed as a “poser.” This kid was hysterical, and it was fun to catch snippets of his pick-up lines and watch him fidget and fix his holster (that’s right, the boy had a freakin’ gun holster around his rock-a-billy tight pants), mess with his hair and put his hat on, take it off, put it on, take it off… it was hypnotic, and satisfied my people-watching desire to the fullest.

I AM Corybantic pg.9

I AM Corybantic
pg.9